It’s something that I ask myself a lot as my first year in Concordia finishes. Ever since high school, I always found a way to stand out, even when I had no intention of doing so. I would volunteer and feel happy in giving ideas to projects.
In college, I continued to volunteer and continued drawing. Various teachers and staff encouraged me with my skill set. In class, I stood out because I often knew the answer to the teachers’ questions.
When I applied for Concordia, I wanted to still continue to volunteer, to get involved in the new community. However, soon after I got in, I found myself hesitating. I felt as though keeping quiet or standing out would have heavier consequences (bad and good). I realized that standing out in university might very well mean standing out on a bigger scale, which terrified me. It might mean that something I design would become real, something of which the whole world would see and be open to all sorts of comments.
And yet, during my second semester, I find myself feeling afraid and excited. I have no idea why and what it would lead to, but I still do what I can. I know that I’ll be criticized and encouraged, but maybe there’s a subconscious reason for doing it.
If you sit down, you’ll see have a limited view and can only reach out so far. You stand up, and you can see a different world and see who else is also standing up. Maybe, by doing so, someone in a similar position will become the friend that can help in figuring out what to do next.
For now, I’m getting used to standing out, but I’m sure one day that I’ll figure out what to do next. Love a good mystery.