Catching up with my Train of Thoughts



“I’m walking a tightrope, I’m counting on high hopes~”

“I feel like I’m walking tightrope,

My heart is in my throat, 

I’m counting on high hopes to get me over you.”

~ Man On A Wire by The Script

Ever have something (or somethings) stay the same for long periods of time? Ever have a period of time where things were frequently, if not constantly changing? Ever wish that things were more routine or more unpredictable?

It seems like complaining of change or routine is something that a lot of humans seem to share (myself included). While we are adaptable by nature, too many changes can make us exhausted and too long of a routine can make us bored. 

As a student, school (High School/College/University)… Would it be just to say that they love irregularity? And, somehow, some student manage to keep a consistent routine and keep a good grade. While one option could be to shake the answers out of those particular students (only in fiction), maybe they’re just better at adjusting their routine according to the changes. 

Physiologically, we are adaptable, but mentally is a challenge since changes can be stressful. I’ve heard pieces of advice to start slow, or have a reward for progress. In an environment like a school, routine & surprises are on a tightrope – no one has the same level of balance nor the same level of skill or confidence. As a result, some are excelling, others are good, and many are struggling.

To say that it’ll be easy is a big lie – I mean, it’s perfect balance on a wire, not easy. However, to say that it’s impossibly hard, absolutely not. Society tells us to get an education that will lead us to a high paying job, but there are some people who find a way to do otherwise. Just as there are many ways to do tightrope, there are many ways to succeed in life. Find that method, whether or not it’s mainstream, and try it out. If anything, it’ll be a brand new path that is yours alone.. And maybe it’ll be a thicker wire than those on the mainstream.


The giving tree, cut down

“If all you wanted was love,
why would you use me up?
Cut me down,
Build a boat and sail away?
When all I wanted to do is be your giving tree,
Settle down,
Build a home and make you happy?”
here’s something mesmerizing about watching leaves fall during the autumn. Maybe it’s because they each have different colours, or because they fall in different paths and in different ways. It’s almost like watching it rain rainbow-coloured raindrops. When the leaves have fallen, it’s like the field is beautiful mix of red, orange, yellow and green.
But then, I see people cleaning them up, blowing them away and putting them away into bags. Somehow, the falling leaves remind me of something sad. Trees once lived for decades, if not centuries, but with human intervention, only the lucky ones last. Now, it looks like someone took a long stick and knocked off all of the leaves from the trees to see the beautiful leaves fall, as though seeing it fall once a year wasn’t enough.
The song that I quoted above was what I thought of when I saw that a tree nearby home was being chopped down. It reminded me of the times in history class where I often heard that the land was once filled with tall trees and the fields filled with flowers and grass alike.
It takes decades for a tree to grow, yes, but it gives us access to oxygen. It allows us to have fruits, to have somewhere for animals to call “home” and a reminder that what we have on this planet is limited and finite, taking years to develop and cannot instantly grow back.

Prove-I’m-Alright Song

I might only have one match
but I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

~ Rachel Platten “Fight Song”

Ever have an ordinary day turn into hell within a second? Ever find numb with shock, with immense amounts of sadness, fear and anger? Ever wonder what went wrong as the memories flood back, as if trying to pinpoint the exact moment in which everything went into chaos?

From Psychology, I know that motions are designed to be short lasting, but somehow, it didn’t seem to be short enough. The superego was frantic, trying to correct something that couldn’t be corrected without created a paradox. The endocrine system was in fight-or-flight mode, determined that there was a deadly predatory somewhere nearby. The id wanted to jump into a hole where no light could reach it…

But the ego indicated that there were and are worse possibilities, that the outcome today was minor in comparison to the hundreds of other possibilities. The ego looked to the positive angles of which indicated that there were no injuries and that it was something of which could be fixed.

So, for the moment, it might look bad, but it’s not the end. It will pass, time moves on, and lives will continue. Emotions last only in the short term, unless that moment is relived over and over again. Even if the climax were to be pinpointed, it cannot be corrected. For now, it’s better to reflect on the incident and to learn from it, hoping that it won’t happen again in the near future

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