Catching up with my Train of Thoughts

Work, Work, Poof… and it’s only day one.

Previously titled “Untitled (III)”

Do you ever find yourself being pulled in 100 different directions? Or find yourself having to figure what to do… when you don’t?

Day one – not training day; this time, it was a 4.5-hour shift of work. At this point, I was pulled to the side and given a vibrant shirt to indicate that I’m an employee, that I work here and that it’s my job to help customers.

My first task is to help stack and fill the empty departments. I noticed a note that mentioned where to put it, which helps and I quickly start picking up 10 books at a time.

I’m getting stared at…? Apparently, lifting 10 large books at once is unusual?

As the hours pass, some of the other workers with the same responsibility introduce themselves, which puts me at ease. Customers come in more and more, filling the store with people in almost every corner. It’s not too bad to lead the customers to the designated areas since

There was another employee of whom I figured out his name by seeing his login info. …. totally not like a creeper/stalker.

Around my last hour, I’m reminded that I have a 15 minutes break that I need to take. Well, 15 minutes isn’t enough to get lunch, but I do have snacks in my bag. Spent the break to refresh and fill my stomach for a little more since it’s almost the end of my shift.

Once I return, I meet a Francophone customer with a list of books to find.

For those who don’t know, Francophones are individuals whose first language is French. In my case, I’m considered an Anglophone since my first language is English…. or, at least, that’s how it is in Quebec… I think.

I spend over an hour speaking with her in French to find out where to find all of the books. She occasionally apologizes for taking so much time, but I was happy to help.

I wonder how many I helped in my first shift.

I finished my shift 30 minutes after I was supposed to finish and learned a few things.

  1. Converse shoes are not good for ‘being on the floor’
  2. I managed to walk some 10 000 steps in those 4 hours
  3. I was exhausted after the shift
  4. … I still don’t know the name of most of my co-workers

I may have missed some kind of traditional introduction … thing… as a new employee… or maybe I’m overthinking things again.

I was so exhausted that I fell asleep at 9:30 at night. I didn’t get up until 8 the following morning.

(I also posted this on Tumblr, but I haven’t decided which to keep - WordPress or Tumblr)

Unexpected Job was found and accepted!

Previously titled “Untitled (II)

Recently, having no classes during the summer, I tried applying to different jobs – a barista, a retail employee, a secretary, an internship, and a bookstore employee, among others.

After a while, with no success, I got a request to meet up – an interview!

What do I wear – a dress, a skirt, a dress shirt? How should I present myself – friendly, confident? Am I overthinking this?

I dressed in a semi-formal fashion – dress shirt & jeans – hoping that I don’t come off as too serious or having put too much of an effort in dressing up. I came an hour too early and my mind spun in a circle while waiting to meet up with them. They asked me a series of questions – a short description of myself, my goods and bad sides, and a scenario with a… less-than-pleasant customer. We finished with a bit of Q&A for me to ask her, but I didn’t know what to ask.

In retrospect, I could’ve asked her about the dress code, duration of breaks, and expected hours of work each week.

I got accepted! Awesome!… Now what?! My first shift was training and was coming up early the following week.

Is there a place to store my stuff in the meantime? Do I show up at the entrance of the store or at the cashier? How do I know when’s a good time to take a break?

Moreover, they sent me a bunch of paper to fill in, one included a direct deposit.

..What’s a Direct Deposit? Why can’t I just do like the 1990s and just get a check? Should I go to the bank and find out? There’s a bunch of parts that I don’t know how to fill in – does it need to filled in before my training in the coming week? What if I can’t fill it accordingly in time?

… This would be a good time to let go of the over-inflated balloon of thoughts.

I showed up about 15 minutes before my appointed time and went to the cashier to ask for her. According to her, I’m to be “on the floor”; the one who is walking around the store, guiding customers in and around the store. She redirects me to someone else who’s give me a “rundown” of my responsibilities.

He’s a bit timid – has a habit of mumbling- but gives me the highlights of my job. If customers want help, I’m to guide them to the appropriate area and inform them of the many alternative options so as to not spend too much; it’s to entice customers to buy from the store and not look for it elsewhere. He also shows me where I can store my bag and other belongings in the meantime.

The training started at 12; the training finished around 1:00; now what? According to email, I was expected to be there until 4:00pm.

What am I supposed to do for the remainder of the time? I didn’t get any uniform, was I supposed to get one? Should I ask for one? If not, should I approach customers and help them out? The layout was a bit odd – is there a logic to it? Is there a map that I could use as reference?

I thought, since I have a few more hours, I’ll spend some time memorizing the layout – it’ll (probably) help when customers ask me where to find their books. An hour passes, then two, and then three; at this point, I have at least 60% of the store memorized – the departments, not the books themselves.

At the third hour, she approached me and told me that I could head out since this was before the rush period – chances were that the store wasn’t going to get many, if any, customers for the rest of the day.

That would’ve been a good time to ask about that uniform – the apron looked cool.

Before I forgot, I quickly went to my bag and handed her the papers that I had received in the email. Turns out that it was expected to have some blanks; those blanks were for the employer/boss/manager to fill in.

It would’ve been a good time to ask about when I get paid, but I guess I could’ve check my bank account occasionally.

My next shift was the week after that. Time to get real! It was a 5 hour shift – I expected that from friends who worked in nearby areas.

What kind of shoes should I bring? What do I wear? What’s considered as appropriate clothing? Should I bring snacks along with me? Water bottle?

Like last time, I arrived about 15 minutes before my shift started. It was at that point that I realized… I didn’t know who I was supposed to “check-in” with. (Or if that’s something I’m supposed to do)

In retrospect, it might’ve been a routine I picked up from volunteering for so long.

Also like last time, I go to the cashier and find a familiar face – maybe they can give me some pointers. They tell me that they’ll let her know that I’m here and, since I’m early, I may as well wander around until my shift officially starts. That I did… until I get pulled into the side and a uniform gets pushed onto me. It’s a vibrant colour, which means customers are less likely to not see me. I guess the real work starts now?

I also post occasionally on Tumblr, but I'll leave that for you to find.

Untitled (I)

Hello, you. It’s been a while hasn’t it? A lot has changed on my end – found a job, finished my term as a Student Association President, entered (probably) my last year at University and I finally saw a psychiatrist.

I might get back to posting here, I might not. Since my last visit, I’ve taken slow steps to be more kind to myself, to alleviate some pressure – whether mentally, physically or otherwise. I’ve also learned that things like self-care don’t need to be done everyday, but that doing them on a regular basis helps to calm the (emotional) waves, as it were.

That’s all I’ll write for now. Thanks for reading.

Reality Check – tumbling and left behind

Hey guys, back here.

Last week, I had a breakdown where I cried for a good 3 hours. My mind was going in circles.

Over the past 2 years or so, I had stopped taking Omega-3 vitamins (they look like pills, but they weren’t). My grades were going down, I had stopped submitting my notes, and I had taken up on a lot of projects and responsibilities. Moreover, I had just submitted an application to transfer into Computer Science while all of this was happening.

My thoughts started to theorize that my falling grades were because of the lack of Omega 3 and that I couldn’t function without them, that I wasn’t as smart as everyone else. I started to blame myself for taking up too many things at once, that I was drowning in work and responsibilities.

Luckily, I had support nearby and calmed down after 3 hours. Then, I decided to go back on Omega 3 vitamins with the hopes that I can catch up. Around the same time, I had found some videos that covered ADHD, which may have contributed to the meltdown and led to some of the thoughts that went through my head.

How would/should I go about getting tested for ADHD if I’m taking omega-3 pills? I feel like I might be unconsciously imitating those who do have ADHD, but also feel that I can’t work in the same way as everyone else.

Try to do something for 30 days

Ever try to get rid of a bad habit? Or try to create a good habit?

Right around the same time that TED Radio Hour posted their 100th episode “A Better You”, I started to challenge myself to break a bad habit for the month of June. In the episode, one of the speakers mentioned that changing a habit requires anywhere from 15 to 45 days. So far, it’s been 27 days *cue small cheer*. 

But I’ve found that trying more than one action at the same time, especially when both are bad habits, can be quite chaotic. I’ve found myself being extra extra conscious of everything and then find myself relapsing (breaking the streak) of the other action that I’m trying to adjust. 

Since it’s the end of June, I’m thinking of shifting my focus to the second bad habit that I’m trying to break since the first is not that much of an issue anymore (but I’ll still keep an eye out for it). 

To keep track of it, I’ve started using a small journal to track the days – a sticker for every good day, a sad face + crossed stickers for when I break the streak. Persistence is key!

Why choose just one?

In the recent year, I’ve started to take up coding classes, learning to code in C++. I also dipped my foot in Mandarin and also in Calculus II.

One question I get a lot from friends is that “Why can’t you choose one thing to do? Why do you want to do so many things?”

I usually laugh it off, saying that I can’t make up my mind. However, being the kind who likes to customize and design everything I get my hands on, maybe the unconscious reason is so that I can come up with an idea to combine what it is that I can and turn it into a job just for me.

I can draw, I like to code using HTML, I also like to teach, and I have a knack for math (but not accounting). In a world that rewards individualism, why should I restrict myself to do just one when I have the resources to create my own job?

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Too much!

Ever find that you bought way too much stuff? Or that you want everything possible? And then the moment when you can’t find the one thing among the many many things that you already have?

Hi world, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Since the last post, I’ve been spending a good portion of my time looking and searching for very specific things in very broad areas. I often found myself complaining that I can’t find anything, yet I don’t think to take a moment and actually organise things. I have a Google Account, Microsoft, Trello, Dropbox, Canva, Adobe…. I’ve got way too much stuff!

That’s when I remembered the podcast episode Simply Happy from NPR TED Radio hour. The host, Guy, talked to the founder of founder of LifeEdited, Graham Hill. In the interview, they talked a lot about minimalistic thinking – the kind of thinking where you keep what you need, not what you want, and for everything to have more than one purpose.

Then, I thought of a plan to do over the summer. While I don’t have the budget to build/buy a tiny house, I can definitely start on the minimalistic thinking with my lifestyle.

I’ll go through everything I have and sort through what can be deleted/archived and unsubscribed from. Hopefully, it’ll relieve a little stress and just make me a little bit happier.

Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert? Do you know the difference? Does your personality follow the description to the letter? 

Recently, I found a video posted by a friend that described 10 traits among Ambiverts in terms of friendships. Knowing that a website classified me as an ambivert, it got me thinking – does the world have an obsession with organizing everything? 

Everyone’s different, we all know that, even twins (and controversial clones). And yet, science has found many ways to classify each individual – hair colour, interests, frequency of socializing (or lack of), ethnic background, etc. While it does provide a feeling of belonging in a group of people with similar traits, I find it creates a pressure to either follow the description, fit into the template closel or risk the possibility of being alienated from the rest. 

In the video that I mentioned before, it said that Ambiverts can change according to the environment and who they’re with (ie. they go with the flow). It made me think of an old friend who I had just met after not seeing him for a month. I was busy talking with another friend (Tyla) and I briefly introduced the two of them. My guy friend (who I don’t want to mention for the offchanve that he reads this) talked with me and joked about some old times before leaving for the day. 

Tyla, after having spoken to my guy friend for two minutes, told me that she obviously saw that he has a crush on me. What?!

(Excuse me while I freak out for a second). Both Tyla and I are ambiverts, so we’re used to by contacting each other for a long time, but what would that kind of trait mean for a couple? 

That’s where I want to trail off to in this post – how do you think the traits of introvert/extrovert/ambivert affect relationships? Depending on what sites you look at, introverts are usually described as a quiet listener while an extrovert is described as a doer more than a thinking. An Ambivert is someone who shifts from one to the other. 

While thinking about how these descriptions can affect your outlook (or inlook), remember this – science facts like these are based on controlled environment with willing individuals – what might have been accurate 10 years ago might not be valid today. 

Some sites say that everyone fits on the scale, somewhere between completely introverted or completely extroverted. As The Doctor, I would say it’s more like a wibbly-wobbly timely wimey … thing (ie. it’s a lot more than that). 

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